[A Devotional for Area Worship Leaders' Gathering | Evanston Vineyard, Evanston, IL]

Hello, everyone! My name is Insoo Kim, and I am the assistant pastor serving at the Hyde Park Vineyard Church, and I have been serving in this capacity for almost two years now. Before moving to Hyde Park, I attended the Oak Park Vineyard where I had the privilege of serving under Dave in the worship ministry for about 8 years. Some of you may already know this, but my wife, Angela, gave birth to our first child, a son named Elliot James Kim. And this happened exactly seven weeks ago today. We waited too long before we left for the hospital, so we almost had him in the car, probably somewhere going westbound on the Eisenhower. Luckily, we made it to the hospital just in time, and our son was born about 30 minutes after we arrived at the hospital.

It's still quite difficult to believe that we are parents. To this day, we often find ourselves staring at this baby sleeping next to us, and wonder if he is ever going to go home to his real parents. But then we always come to this startling realization that we are stuck with him, and he is stuck with us. And we can't imagine life without him.

Dave approached me a few weeks ago to share a short teaching at this gathering, so I've been praying for what to share with guys and what I have to share today is not so much a teaching as it is a devotional. So for the next 15 minutes or so, what I would like to do is to share with you 3 things that I've learned being a father for seven weeks. I'll ramble on at times and may share some cute stories here and there, but what I hope would happen for us at the end of our time together is that each of you will find yourself again captivated by what it means for us to call God, the Creator of the Universe, our "father." I believe that the earthly fathers that we have, though fragile and fallen, do in many ways give us a tangible example of how our heavenly father, loves us. We read in Matthew 7, the following:

7"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. 9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

You here are pastors, worship leaders, faithful servants, and I know personally of what many of you have gone through. The years of serving, for some, without recognition, without pay, without thanks. Some of you are burned out. Some of you are just tired. Some of you may have been in a season of waiting or maybe in a season of transition where your life has been turned completely upside down. Or maybe, and I really do hope that this is true, just maybe there are a few of you here just bursting from the seams, full of life, hope, gratitude, and a passion to serve God with everything!

But wherever you may be this morning in your personal journey, my hope and prayer for you today is that you will sense again, in a fresh way, the tremendous love of the Father. You don't have to remember anything I say to you today. It's not going to be very good anyways. But I do hope that you will remember this day, this moment, for days and months, and maybe even years to come. So that, when you find yourself in that desert again, that you will remember the extravagant love of your Father!

So, before we continue, I just want to pray us and our time together! If you don't mind, can we all just stand?

So, here are three things that I learned being a father for seven weeks:

1. I've learned that, no matter how difficult a day I have at work (or life in general), that one smile from my son makes everything better.

Some of you may know that my wife's mother, Sharon, has been battling breast cancer for the past year. The doctors gave her three months to live, but she is still alive today. A week after Elliot was born, we took the 10-hour drive to visit her in Iowa because we weren't sure how much longer she will be with us. We are still praying to this day that God will miraculously heal Sharon from this cancer. It has been a difficult time for the family. And on the church front, we are in the process of moving into a new Sunday morning facility and that has added a lot of stress to my job as the assistant pastor. But regardless of how difficult things have been with our family or with the church, when I come, I am greeted by my beautiful wife and my adorable son who is happy as can be to see me, it makes everything better.

Children are a wonderful blessing from the Lord! They are full of life, joy, and a curious honesty that is absolutely wonderful!

My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training, and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven month old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Matt had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident and I don't have any clothes with me."

Then I said, "Matt, are you sure you did not have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just knew that he must have had, because the smell was getting worse. So, I asked one more time, "Matt, did you have an accident?"

This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled, "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!!" While 100 people nearly choked to death on their tacos, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down to eat his food as if nothing happened. I was mortified, but some kind elderly people made me feel a lot better, when they came over and thanked me for the best laugh they had ever had!

If I, being evil, can be moved by my son, how much more, our heavenly Father, is moved by us?

2. I've learned that my love for my son compels me, at times, to do things that he hates

Proverbs 3:11-13
11 My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, 12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. 13 Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding

No discipline ever feels good at that moment. But those who receive it with patience and understanding will sow immeasurable benefits.

3. I've learned that I love my son more and more each day

Jeremiah 31
1 "At that time," declares the LORD, "I will be the God of all the clans of Israel, and they will be my people." 2 This is what the LORD says: "The people who survive the sword will find favor in the desert; I will come to give rest to Israel." 3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. 4 I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel. Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful. 5 Again you will plant vineyards on the hills of Samaria; the farmers will plant them and enjoy their fruit.

If I, being evil, can be moved by my son, how much more is our heavenly Father, moved by us?

CLOSING
The prayer of Jesus at Gethsemane, a passage that we've all memorized from our Sunday school, has taken on a new significance for me in this seven weeks. Matthew 26:

36Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." 37He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me." 39Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." 42He went away a second time and prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."

The Son cries out to the Father and desperately begs for the cup to be taken from him, that the Father would protect the Son from all that awaits him on the road before him. As a father of seven weeks, here is where the equation stops making sense for me. Here is where the divine and the human reveal their true colors. For you see, even if the death of my son would directly result in someone else's life, there is no way that I would be able to allow that. Not for one or one thousand people. I can't do it. BUT I don't think there is anything in this world that I would not do to save the life of my own son.

If I, being evil, know how to love my own son in this way, how much more will our Father in heaven love us, his sons and daughters, bought with the costliest of sacrifices.

Do you know that the creator of the Universe, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, loves you more than any father can love his child? Do you know that for YOU personally? Do you really know that?

May every one of you here this morning, serve God all the days of your life, in response to this simple but incredible truth: God loves you more than you will ever know!

PRAYER MINISTRY
Before we continue on with some prayer ministry time, where we will minister to each other, I would like to give us just a couple of minutes in silence to just let God speak to you and burn this into your heart this morning. I know it's not easy for some of you to be on the receiving end of ministry, but please take these few minutes of silence and just wait on God. Let him speak to you. Let him love on you.